I had a volleyball coach in high school whom everyone bemoaned. We were used to coaches that cheered us on from the sidelines and gave us a pat on the back if we made a mistake. In fact, this was the attitude of the entire town. Supportive, loving, kind. These are great attributes, but when it comes to trying to improve as an athlete, high fives alone just don’t cut it. When the new coach was hired, things got serious. We were expected to train and train hard. Wall sits and pushups and scraped elbows from learning to properly dive for a ball. While everyone was complaining to each other about this new approach (get it??), I was ecstatic. This was exactly what I needed and wanted. Tell me what to do. Make me work harder. Notice when I’m half-assing it and tell me you expect more. Make me earn your compliments. How is someone expected to improve without struggling first? Did my teammates actually want to learn to be better and win some games or were they just out there to mess around and have ‘fun’? What is more fun: chilling and relaxing all cool or working your ass off so that you can make a solid block or an insane kill that gives you that incredible rush and makes life feel worth living (just me?)?

In the game of life, there are people like me and people like the majority of my teammates. Some people thrive in a setting where they are gently encouraged and no intense words are ever spoken. It feels comfortable and safe. Other people, like me, prefer a bit of harshness mixed in. Tell it to me straight. No need to make it pretty with your ‘there, theres’ and pats on the back. Tell me exactly what I am supposed to do and then tell me when I mess up and make me do burpees as a punishment so I don’t want to mess up again. Okay, maybe not burpees, I truly hate burpees. What I am trying to say is when I am looking to improve some area of my life, I want to be coached like I was by my high school volleyball coach and that is exactly what I am trying to do here on my blog. If you are reading this, you probably fall into the “tell it like it is” camp and so that is what I am going to do.

It is so easy to drift through life without examining ourselves and our actions. When we experience pain or something challenging in our lives, we jump to our vices to soothe ourselves into oblivion and then do it all again the next day. It is uncomfortable to face up to the harsh realities in our lives but we need to struggle through that ugliness to get to the other side. Face up to the fact that you are drowning in credit card debt and yet you continue to ‘add to cart’. Face up to the fact that you have found yourself in a loveless marriage and it isn’t all his fault. Face up to the fact that you cannot take a shit without being entertained by The Endless Scroll. Face up to the fact that you cannot be bothered to make the damn bed in the morning. Ask yourself why. Why is it so hard to take the two minutes to make the bed? Is it because maybe you are depressed and need to get help or are you just being lazy? I write this blog to try to push you into a better life that is not just more enjoyable but one that feels earned. One that you have sweated and bled for. I don’t want you to just have fun and take it easy, I want you to put your damn uniform on and show up to the court on time and ready to play. I want you to hear the words ‘make the damn bed’ when you wake up in the morning and then actually fucking do it. I want you to face up to the demands of your life. I want you to face up to yourself and to acknowledge the work that you know needs to be done.