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I’ve been considering this change for months now and right before writing this I finally pulled the plug and deleted my (personal) Instagram account. Wow, that felt good. Another thing I have thought about doing for months but haven’t made happen is writing another blog post. Interesting how both things happened back to back, isn’t it? Well not really, it makes a hell of a lot of sense.

So what inspired this change (this time… I have already deleted my insta at least twice before)? Do you want the long or short answer? JK, of course I always give the long answer because I can’t help myself. About a month ago I was chatting with some neighbors and we were discussing how to get our kids to take more risks in the real world like going to the corner store by themselves or riding their bike through the neighborhood. We also discussed screens and how to best handle this impossibly hard aspect of raising kids these days. My neighbor suggested I read an article from The Atlantic: ‘End The Phone-Based Childhood Now’ by Jonathan Haidt. I don’t have an account with The Atlantic but the title and opening paragraphs shook me enough that I knew I had to read more by Haidt. A quick google search directed me to his book, ‘The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness’. My god, that subtitle was enough to make me buy the book, put away my phone, and actually get to reading it. While I’ve been very aware of the problems with social media and our collective obsession with our phones, this book is making me recognize that I was only aware of the tip of the iceberg. What I am reading feels impossible to forget or ignore.

Even so, after putting the kids to bed last night I was discussing the book with my husband and was expressing my frustration about how I have handed over countless hours to my screens (phone, iPad, computer, the Switch) and how social media companies have managed to hijack my brain even when I have tried so hard to limit myself with settings and deleting apps etc. What makes me even more livid is that this is happening to our kids. How do they even have a chance against these companies that spend shit tons of money trying to get more eyeball time from all of us? They don’t and the results are heartbreaking. I highly suggest everyone read this book as I would say it is the most important book I’ve read in years. So after voicing all of these frustrations to my husband, he left for trivia night at the bar while I decided to forgo my screens to read more of this book. Well everything was going fine until I decided to just check instagram real quick. The next hour was gone before I knew it (to the time suck that is insta reels) and all of the sudden it was my bedtime. What the fuck!? Even after my heated speech I still couldn’t help myself. At the end of the day, I was tried and had less of the energy I needed to resist the comforting swipe that requires nothing from me while also generously keeping me entertained and smiling as the minutes passed me by. I closed the damn iPad and went to bed upset with myself for not following through with the plans I had to read my book.

I woke up this morning and thought, maybe the time is now. I tried to find a way to just delete the ability to watch reels since I do enjoy seeing what my friends and family are up to (even though 90% of them rarely even post) but there doesn’t seem to be a way to do that with an iPhone. (Some Android users were able to install an older (reel free) version of Instagram which I found intriguing.) With that information, I went ahead and deleted my damn account and boy did it feel good. I hate to admit that I couldn’t just use my self control to limit myself to a set amount of time each day but I also recognize the powers against me. The point I kept coming back to is the opportunity cost of spending countless hours reeling my evenings away instead of reading or making eye contact with my husband or embroidering or even just sitting there thinking my thoughts. I don’t want to expend the energy it takes to NOT check Instagram. I want to get bored enough to actually read my book or even get into a show with my husband which feels like an elevated pastime comparatively.

Another highly motivating factor is my kids. My husband and I have agreed that it will be years before we allow our kids to have their own social media accounts (or phone plans) and I talk openly with them about my own tech challenges. Who knows if they will remember how their mom deleted her insta account once upon a time but what they WILL remember is the eyeball time I freely give them. They will remember how I made them feel when I gave them the attention and affection they deserve instead of saying ‘hold on’ for the 100th time because I am watching a funny reel my friend sent me. Or maybe I WILL be saying ‘hold on’ because I am nearing the end of the chapter of the book I am reading. While I limit their screen time and make sure they spend quality time with friends and encourage them to go outside every day, I freely hand over my evenings and afternoon breaks to the insta reel gods. No longer! I want my kids to see me enjoying hobbies that feed me and help me develop skills.

Hell, I want to watch me embrace various hobbies! I want to create instead of just consume. I want to safeguard my attention span since I have noticed it decreasing. I want to be present in my human life and notice the natural world that surrounds me. Yes I still plan to play video games and scroll through Reddit and keep an eye on my Facebook group updates. I will still be sending walls of texts to my friends and family. I will continue to have plenty of opportunities to overuse my screens, but at least this is one step in the right direction and it feels fucking fantastic.

ARE YOU SICK AND TIRED OF SOCIAL MEDIA BEING THE TIME SUCK THAT IT IS? ARE YOU CONSIDERING DELETING ONE (OR ALL) OF YOUR ACCOUNTS? WHICH ONE DO YOU HAVE THE HARDEST TIME LIMITING? ALSO IF YOU HAVE ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE BOOK I MENTIONED I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR THEM IN THE COMMENTS. I AM ABOUT HALF WAY THROUGH AND AM LOOKING FORWARD TO READING THE REST NOW THAT MY EVENINGS ARE FREED UP!