After a year and a half of sobriety and now two months into my next sober period, I have noticed that occasionally I come across people that are uncomfortable with the fact that I choose not to drink. It is a strange thing to see the disappointment in their faces and in their words. Imagine being a smoker and then quitting and then having your friends be bummed out that you stopped. That’s pretty fucked up, right? Shouldn’t our friends and family be excited for us when we make choices that improve our health? So where do these uncomfortable reactions come from?

For one thing, if they have a problem with alcohol themselves, then hearing about someone that gave it up will instantly make them uneasy. They don’t want to have to look in the mirror. They want to carry on with their fancy cocktails and assume everyone else is doing the same. They don’t want to hear about how great the sober life is. The fresh mornings, hangover free. The reignited hobbies that have emerged from the depths. The money sitting in the bank account, available for more fulfilling activities. They want you to take part in the festivities so that they can double down on the assurance that what they are doing is totally normal. They want to clink glasses and not have to wonder if the twelve drinks a week is too much. No no, lets just get tipsy to soften the edges and be on our merry way.

So far, when confronted with people like this, I have laughed it off with them. I know I know, I am on the wagon yet again. Yup, still sober over here, ha ha. We will see how long I last this time. This is all bullshit. I am doing this to make you feel comfortable. A bad habit of people pleasing I developed in my childhood. From now on, I want to hold my head high and show that I am proud of the fact that I am not drinking. I want to leave their words hanging uncomfortably in the air where they left them. Maybe offer some of my own as a challenge to them. Alcohol is so accepted (or should I say expected) that most people have been able to float through life, drinking at every high and low life throws at them, without being confronted with the truth. No amount of alcohol is safe or good for you. I am not saying that because I think everyone and their mothers should be sober, but I do think it is a truth that most people who drink don’t want to admit. I take part in plenty of things that aren’t healthy, but I acknowledge that which I think makes a difference. What I don’t want to do is go through life with fingers in my ears, all ‘la la la la’, unable to look myself in the eye.

Not everyone that is uncomfortable with sobriety has a problem with their own consumption. Alcohol is so ingrained in our culture that it is hard to imagine an adult social life without it. It reminds me of being an atheist in a world that still expects at minimum, spirituality. It reminds me of a world that hopes your house is as messy as theirs so they don’t have to get their shit in order. It reminds me of how uncomfortable people get when I talk about investing for retirement. People don’t want to see that my drawers are organized or our high savings rate. They get squirmy and want to talk about the weather. Is this all we want from life? To have enough drinks that we don’t have to confront the real stressors that are chasing us from one week to the next? So we can ‘relax’ and enjoy the weekend before buckling down again on Monday? I will not live like that. I refuse to bury my head in the sand and let the years fly on by. Instead, I will continue to examine every facet of my life to ensure that I am pursuing my goals and making the most of this one life and I hope you have the balls (or should I say ovaries) to do the same.